I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I haven’t been blogging for a few weeks.  I let the habit fall off the table as the busy-ness of life took me over.  I thought it was a good idea to set writing aside and try to pay more attention to my family, work and other pursuits.

Truth is, I don’t know if it helped.  I’ve discovered that I pay more attention to the present when I’m writing.  Even when I’m distracted crafting a post in my mind, I notice more details, reflect, and appreciate the seemingly mundane events.  And when I read reflections of other bloggers, I feel like I’ve opened a little gift for the day.  I feel more connected.  I learn so much from you.  I feel like someone other there gets me and my little place in the world. 

These few weeks have been a blur, and I don’t have much record of where it went.  I’m not sure I was a more attentive parent or wife.  I’d rather have a few posts, some words of wisdom from other writers, or a comment or two from you to reflect upon those little moments.

So today, I’m just grateful that I’ve rediscovered what draws me to writing and this strange community of the blogosphere.  There is value in this virtual yet intimate exchange. 

I haven’t figured out the balance (do we ever?).  But I’m back, ready to jump in again.  

Let’s talk.

Posted at Tuesdays Unwrapped at Chatting at the Sky.

photo credit: Capture Queen ™

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 Lately I’ve been feeling a bit stressed, but it doesn’t make much sense.

We still have a few more weeks of summer.  (I know, many of you are starting school already, but while you were jumping in the pool we had school until mid-June, so no complaining).  My kids are at wonderful ages of gaining independence, which makes life so much easier than before.  I’m doing some part-time  work and enjoying it.  But, like so many moms, I’m feeling pulled in too many different directions.

I realized some of my anxiety was about my personal commitment to write here multiple times per week.  None of you are nagging me, but there’s this voice in my head constantly telling me I have got to put up some profound, insightful posts or all of you will run away and my site will collapse into a black hole.  And I’m sure you all know that fear of imminent black hole collapse, combined with guilt about a wreck of a house, family who needs love and attention, actual paid work that needs to get done, other writing commitments, and oh-my-gosh-summer-is-almost-over-we-must-create-some-fun-memories-now doesn’t make for great creative writing.  Or maybe it does, but it’s not working for me right now. 

I want my words to be fresh and interesting, not just space fillers.  I want to write through inspiration, not obligation.  And I want to reflect a life of appreciated moments, not put off those moments to slap up a post. 

So, as we prepare for one more road trip next week, I’m going to take that pressure to create profoundness off the table.  I might post a few golden not-so-oldies, I might write when I’m inspired, but you might see fewer posts for a few weeks. 

I hope that’s okay with you–it might even be a relief.   Just tell me you won’t disappear into a black hole, okay? 

And if you have any summer left, please enjoy it and appreciate the moments with me. 

Our vacation time has been sprinkled with the usual sibling quips and quarrels.  I hoped to stem this with the magic letter tactic, but of course, the kids have done what siblings do when in close quarters for a couple of weeks.  They’ve had great fun together, and they’ve had several good spats.

Great opportunities to learn conflict resolution (she smiles, through gritted teeth).

So it was no suprise when the insults began to fly again yesterday.  In response, my husband sat the eldest down in front of the computer with brief instructions:  ”Sit.  Write to your sister.  Half page.  12-point font.”  (because less (speaking) is more with teens).

A replied with the eloquence of any thirteen-year-old boy:  “. . . wwhaaat?“  But G held firm (he’s much better at that than I am), simply repeating that he only needed to complete the assignment and the fun could resume.  A huffed, he puffed, he sulked, he lay his head on the keyboard.  He complained it was absolutely impossible to fill a half page with words related to this minor incident.  He moaned and groaned about the complete unfairness of it all, attempted every negotiation/manipulation tactic he could, but we just repeated, “Keep going.  I’m sure you can think of something.” 

Finally, he came up with this:

“Dear K,

I’m sorry I said your face looks like a pigs butt.  I realize I have not been speaking very nicely to you.  I think I really need to be nicer to you, specifically speaking to you.  From now on I will try to be nicer.  In fact, I think it will be a New Year resolution.  Even though I think this punishment is very unfair, and it’s a lot, I need to pay for what I’ve done.  I think I need to control my actions more, and instead of saying something mean I would go up to my room or something.  How can I make it up to you?  Here are some ideas:

• Have me give you 6 chocolate kisses later.
• You have me be your butler for a whole day.

K, I’m sorry for what I said to you, I really am, and I really hope you forgive me for it.  You are actually an AWESOME sister, and I love you for it.  You are friendly, nice, affectionate, and a little weird and crazy at times, but you are still overall an amazing sister.  Even though you can be annoying as heck, even though you can be crazier than N, even though you can be weirder than a platypus, you are still a beast, and that’s that. 

From your loving brother,

A

And that’s that.  How’s that for digging below the surface? 

What about you?  Would you take the kisses or the butler for a day?