welcome!

I'm Pam, and I'm glad you're here. I hope my thoughts on family, faith, and the flux of life help you laugh, fire you up or just make you think.

Join the conversation: leave a comment, subscribe to posts (click the orange button in the top right corner), or drop me an email at pam(at)beyondjustmom(dot)com.
Thank you for visiting!

places i write

Categories

tackling fear: shifting perspective

A city bus rides around my town with a larger-than-life ad sporting a gigantic picture like this: 

SAW A BUG???  Call (not-to-be-named Exterminator)!
Think of the message this sends.  If I see a tiny bug, I should immediately freak out and call in the troops?  Even if it’s just a fly?  What if it’s a ladybug?  Have [...]

the joy of good enough

Cover via Amazon

 I’m not sure what this says about me, but sometimes I am thunderstruck by a twist on the same old typical advice.  Listening to a book on CD today, I almost had to pull over the car, overwhelmed by recognition, relief and mixed-up conviction by this: 
“I meet many parents who are trying so hard [...]

how to start kid conversations

Here’s one more goodie from the archives to help with those fall routines:

Now that fall is approaching full swing, are you having conversations like this?
How was your day? fine.
What happened at school (or work)? not much.
Wanna talk about it? not really.
It seems like no matter how hard I try, those questions never seem to elicit [...]

in praise of do-overs

SteadyMom inspired me with her post on do-overs: 
Let’s try that again.
How much do I love this powerful phrase?  Let me count the ways:

“Let’s try that again” models grace with accountability.  It corrects with a focus on what can be done better, not what was done wrong. 
It’s friendly and positive.  It requires no raised voices, consequences [...]

the magic word of possibility

Do you wrestle with these conversation killers?

“I can’t do it.”

“I’m no good at this.” 
“No one wants to play with me.”
or from yourself:
“I’m not one of those big-time bloggers.”
or
“I haven’t written a real book.”

So often we argue, countering, “Yes, you can!”, generating a back-and-forth argument, and causing our opponent to dig in heels.  To strenghten our case, [...]

the 27 thing fling

Housekeeping is not my passion or gift.  I need a little help from my friends (family).  How about you?
It gets especially onerous in the summer, when there are so many more interesting things to do outside, and there are many more bodies around my house making messes every five minutes.  
Enter the 27 thing fling.  I learned [...]

speak for yourself

Ever since I quit my full time job (when child #3 was born), I’ve had trouble answering that common question:
What do you do?
For an embarassingly long time I would answer some variation of “I’m a stay home mom, but I used to do something important. . . ” (well, not exactly that, but it crossed [...]

ten ways to re-frame parenting issues

No one knows all the answers, but sometimes asking the right questions gets us where we need to be.
These ten questions to re-frame parenting issues always stop me in my tracks and change my approach.  Thomas and I closed Saturday’s parent workshop with this list by Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller.   Feel free to alter for [...]

refrigerator wisdom

I have some clutter issues.  You can tell this by looking at my fridge (that’s not my fridge, but mine’s almost as messy).   Buried among the magnets, artwork, appointment reminders, photos and other stuff are scraps of inspiration taped on the fridge in desperate moments.  Some have been there for years (I know, I have issues) and [...]

powerful ways to praise

If you wanted to praise your child for something he or she did, what would you say? 
Most parents in my workshops respond, “Good job!  Nice catch.  Beautiful picture.  Wonderful story.”
That’s okay, but it could be better.  I tend to hunger for more.  There’s a reason.
I’ve learned to think about two parts to every comment:

1)  Our words (good [...]