the magic word of possibility
Do you wrestle with these conversation killers?
“I can’t do it.”
“I’m no good at this.”
“No one wants to play with me.”
or from yourself:
“I’m not one of those big-time bloggers.”
or
“I haven’t written a real book.”
So often we argue, countering, “Yes, you can!”, generating a back-and-forth argument, and causing our opponent to dig in heels. To strenghten our case, we defend our statement just to convince the other person we’re speaking the truth. We end up more convinced the original statement is right — or perhaps understated — and the other person is wrong.
Instead, just add the magic word:
“You can’t do it. . . . YET.”
“Okay, you’re not good at this. . . YET.”
“Today, no one can play with you . . . YET.”
And tell yourself:
“I’m not one of those big-time bloggers. . . YET.”
“I haven’t written a real book. . . YET.”
See the difference? Three little letters validate the sentiment, open up the conversation, shift emphasis toward the goal, and create a sense of possibility.
I’m trying to work it in more often. I’m not quite there yet. But I can feel it coming.
Visit We are THAT Family for more Works for Me Wednesday ideas.
I love this. My 5 year old is constantly saying that she can’t do something or, if one certain child doesn’t play with her, she says that nobody liked her that day. I never know what to say back to her. This is a very helpful idea.
Thanks!
Stacy’s last blog post..Maybe there’s a point…Maybe there isn’t…
What a good reminder! Positive thinking can change so much – in our lives and our children’s!
Jamie
steadymom’s last blog post..Rest for the Weary Mother – An Introduction
I do that all the time, but only cause I know it’s true xD
Jenny’s last blog post..I Wanna be Wii Fit!!
Great post, I need to work on this myself!
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So glad you found this helpful. I find that it’s easy for me to turn this on my children, but I need to commit to doing it myself. It helps me look forward than trying to justify my shortfalls. Best wishes to all of you — let me know how it goes.
And Jenny, you inspire me with your confidence!
just popping over through the gratitude community at Holy Experience. I have enjoyed getting to “know” you a bit, sitting on the back porch , my 5 kids ( ages 11-20) , almost home and accounted for
.
Thanks for sharing good words in such a refreshing and integral way.
I’ll be back to read more…
Oh Pam, how I needed these words today. Thank you for them.
Billy Coffey’s last blog post..Toward the sunrise
Deb, I’m so glad you stopped by and look forward to connecting with you.
Billy, your words strike me to the core so often, so I’m glad I could add something helpful for you today. Blessings to you.