Comments on: next time, do this

By: Beyond Just Mom » let’s skip the mommy wars

Beyond Just Mom » let’s skip the mommy wars — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 13:42:52 +0000

[...] We need a frequent reminder that kids are resilient, that our mistakes are forgiven and that next time, we will respond better. We need a friend who pulls us out of that ocean of diapers and tantrums [...]

By: charrette

charrette — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 16:39:51 +0000

Haha! I thought you put the picture of the puppy there because they actually use this principle in dog training. (Not “next time”…but stating the positive behavior command rather than the negative.)

The same is true in the acting world. A good director will tell the actor what TO DO, not what not to do. (My husband is a film director).

I’m a believer. Will work on adding that lovely phrase, “Next time…”

By: Epiphany Girl

Epiphany Girl — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 15:38:16 +0000

As a still non-mommy type, I am right there with everyone who sees this fabulous "next time" practice working on the big kids in my life. I think it seems like a wonderful way to keep up a more nurturing inner dialog too. How often do we rule ourselves with the line of a tough disciplinarian rather than a loving mother who offer unconditional support? Epiphany Girl’s last blog post..“I stand here today humbled by the task before us”

By: Satchel Pooch

Satchel Pooch — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 01:10:02 +0000

This is a powerful technique. You can even use it in the present: for example, “Walk in the halls please!” works much better at school than “No running!” I like how it reinforces the wanted instead of the unwanted behavior, and it seems somewhat less likely to evoke a hostile response.

By: pam

pam — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 13:50:27 +0000

I’m so glad you all found this useful. Yes, Kristin, Amy and Cindy, it’s a great way to rephrase things for spouses, coworkers and other adult colleagues. The older I get, the more I believe the concept that “everything I need to know I learned in kindergarten. . .”

By: Kristin

Kristin — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 05:33:51 +0000

I was just going to say -- no kids here, but I hope this works with husbands! Kristin’s last blog post..WFMW - Newspaper clipping

By: Amy

Amy — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 03:55:25 +0000

Great post! I don't do this nearly enough with the kids (or my husband!). Amy’s last blog post..WFMW: Crafty gift ideas

By: Wanda

Wanda — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 01:03:26 +0000

WOw.....That hits home for me. I'm not normally a big meany mom...but I have found myself saying Don't a lot lately. Thanks for a great alternative positive way of saying what I need to say. You rock! Wanda’s last blog post..When Life Gives You Lemons…

By: wani

wani — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 23:17:36 +0000

sigh... I feel like I say "don't do that" every other sentence some days... you know? I think this is a good alternative and I'm going to make an effort to implement it. Thanks for sharing. wani’s last blog post..Free Pancakes @ IHOP!!

By: Mo

Mo — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 16:19:43 +0000

What great behavior modification; I’m betting it works both ways (for you AND whomever you are requesting something from “next time”…)

Thanks for sharing this!