in the beginning
When I started this site a few months so very long ago, I wrote a few foundational posts on the key words of my byline: reflections on family, faith and the flux of life. At that time no one was around to read them, so I thought I’d start the new year fresh with a re-run. How’s that for an oxymoron? Let’s say it’s perfectly fresh if you haven’t read it yet. Anyway, here goes:
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on flux
What do I mean by “flux of life”?
From the Free Online Dictionary:
flux (fluks) n. 1. a. A flow or flowing. b. A continued flow; a flood. 2. The flowing in of the tide
As a child, I anticipated a straight path to success. I was an ambitious girl, coming of age in the 80s, believing I could “do it all.” I dreamed of being queen of the corporate world and a beautiful family. Then reality rushed over me. In reality, my life has flux-ed through the seasons:
college: a river of rapids and whirlpools–turbulent, challenging, exciting, invigorating
20s/early marriage: forging a new stream, building my flow, enjoying a rising tide
working mom of two babies: an unexpected flood. trying to keep my head above water. struggling to balance. gratitude in surviving. reluctant to get out of the exciting waters.
baby number three: time to move out of the flood zone and crawl up on the banks. watching the career stream flow by. seeking stiller waters. finding a new stream.
mom of three young ones: depending on the day, a varying flux–a steady drip, like water torture (not my metaphor), raging rapids, floods, or flowing tides.
today–three kids in school, flexible work: feeling more buoyant. negotiating a new stream. anticipating more “flux” to come.
Along the journey, I fluctuate. Sometimes I struggle. Sometimes I know my choices are right. As I adapt and evolve, sometimes I wonder whether I’m losing—or finding?—my true self. Is this maturity, or weakness? The blessings are abundant, but different from what I expected. Can I ever go back to my original plans? Do I want to? In which stream do I want to row?
The flux metaphor works for me as I flow through life’s seasons. How does it resonate with you?
I love the differentiation (is that a word or did I just lose it?) between the flux and the balance. I’m always talking about trying to find balance and it makes perfect sense to me that what I’m looking for is more of a flux. Thank you!
Heather of the EO’s last blog post..Successful People
It helped me let go of the quest for perfect balance too. Glad it helped you (and yes, I think differentiation is a word
pam
I like the word ‘flux’ also — have used the word ’seasons’ to describe the different stages of life as a mother, a wife, and a woman of God. I probably loved the water images and comparisons the best in your post. They captured the moments in life beautifully.
’still waters’ of the Psalm 23 and my favorite
‘but the water that I will give him will become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life’ ahhhh to never ‘thirst’ again.
Really enjoyed your post, very thought-provoking ~~ judy
judy’s last blog post..The Gospel: “Culture Making” or culture breaking?
[...] in the beginning [...]
I’m glad you reprinted this. This is a nice way to look at life, and I believe it’s very true.