in the beginning
When I started this site a few months so very long ago, I wrote a few foundational posts on the key words of my byline: reflections on family, faith and the flux of life. At that time no one was around to read them, so I thought I’d start the new year fresh with a re-run. How’s that for an oxymoron? Let’s say it’s perfectly fresh if you haven’t read it yet. Anyway, here goes:
What do I mean by “flux of life”?
From the Free Online Dictionary:
flux (fluks) n. 1. a. A flow or flowing. b. A continued flow; a flood. 2. The flowing in of the tide
As a child, I anticipated a straight path to success. I was an ambitious girl, coming of age in the 80s, believing I could “do it all.” I dreamed of being queen of the corporate world and a beautiful family. Then reality rushed over me. In reality, my life has flux-ed through the seasons:
mom of three young ones: depending on the day, a varying flux–a steady drip, like water torture (not my metaphor), raging rapids, floods, or flowing tides.
today–three kids in school, flexible work: feeling more buoyant. negotiating a new stream. anticipating more “flux” to come.
Along the journey, I fluctuate. Sometimes I struggle. Sometimes I know my choices are right. As I adapt and evolve, sometimes I wonder whether I’m losing—or finding?—my true self. Is this maturity, or weakness? The blessings are abundant, but different from what I expected. Can I ever go back to my original plans? Do I want to? In which stream do I want to row?
The flux metaphor works for me as I flow through life’s seasons. How does it resonate with you?