I'm Pam, and I'm glad you're here. I hope my thoughts on family, faith, and the flux of life help you laugh, fire you up or just make you think.

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Works for me: the wonderous “I wonder. . .”

Is this a familiar theme in your household? 

DSC_2487 - Solo Pillow Fight (51/366)
How was your day?   fine.

What happened at school?  not much.

Wanna talk about it?  not really.

It seems like no matter how hard I try, those questions never seem to get much information.  A wise school counselor once suggested I use different words to ask the same question.  

Just begin with “I wonder. . .” and get a little more specific:

“It's all make believe, isn't it?”
I wonder. . .  who you sat with at lunch today?

I wonder. . . how things went in math class?

I wonder. . . what kids do before the first bell rings? 

Somehow, when I phrase my questions this way, my kids want to fill in the blanks for poor, clueless mom.   And I get more information.  Amazing.

Try it today!  I wonder how it will work in your family? 

For more great Works for Me Wednesday ideas, go to Rocks in My Dryer.

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7 comments to Works for me: the wonderous “I wonder. . .”

  • I wonder…why I didn’t do that before!

    Thank you :)

  • I wonder…how you came up with that?

    Too cute.

    Exciting things happen at school….and sometimes…we never hear about them from our own kids.


  • I need to do this too, my 3 kids that are in school don’t tell me anything! Great idea!

  • I wonder. . . why I haven’t been using this! Thanks for a great tip. I can’t wait to try it out tomorrow~!

  • Hey Pam:
    Did you notice how I used your idea of “I wonder” questions in this past week’s “Family Faith Companion?” (A weekly email our church sends to families with ideas about how to build faith at home.) View that post at:

    A colleague of mine, Tanja Rouintree, had the following to say about the Theological Basis of “I wonder” statements:
    “Is the Bible a book of answers? If so, it is all in code. There is a lot of conversation and tension about the mystery of God written in the Bible. Do adults have all the answers, or do you find yourself wondering about this or that passage in the Bible? How many identical sermons have you heard on a single passage? There are true statements you can make about what the Bible reveals about God: God is love. God is holy. God is revealed in Christ. Christ tells us to love our neighbor. But what does it mean for God to be love, or to be holy? What does it mean to love our neighbor? None of us can give absolute answers to those questions—But we continue to wrestle with them as long as we are open to scripture. That is the theological essence of the “I wonder” statement. The “I wonder” statement opens the door to a life-long relationship with scripture. We, as leaders of children, stand at that door and offer a loving hand of companionship as children step through it.” (reprinted from rotation.org)

    Thanks for the reminder. — Carol

  • pam

    Wow, I wonder why this post generated so many thoughtful comments? Thanks to all of you for your kind feedback. I especially appreciate Carol’s link to “wonder” in theology. I love how exploring and wrestling with life’s big questions helps us grow.

    Thanks to all of you!

  • This sounds like Chick Moorman again – LOVE it. At our house we ask:

    “What were the best three things that happened to you today?” (We usually don’t play the “What was the worst thing” game. I get that info without asking.

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