10 connecting tips for parents–with a $200 giveaway!
This is a compensated review from BlogHer and Sprint
With a growing teen, tween and wanna-be tween, how do we stay connected as a family? It isn’t easy for anyone. For me, adolescent parenting has brought its share of serendipitous pleasures, with perhaps fewer, but deeper connections. Today I share what’s worked for me, what I’d like to do, or ideas that I hope will inspire you to find your own family connections. For more reflections on faith, family and the flux of life, please check out BeyondJustMom. (To enter the giveaway, scroll down to the instructions at the bottom of the page).
- Carpe diem: seize the day! (or at least the five minutes you’ve got). I need to pay attention to those fleeting moments when my kids are interested in talking. I used to put my three little ones to bed and then float downstairs for a blissful moment of alone time. More recently, as soon as I settle, my son appears and needs to hang out for awhile. Sometimes I just want to shoo him off to bed, but really, it’s a perfect time to hear what’s on his mind. So we chill out for awhile, and I do my best to listen. And then I send him off to bed.
- Make a date. I admire a friend who schedules a date with one child every week. I go for smaller “dates”: a walk around the block during a sister’s piano lesson, a ride to the store, or a snack after school. To stay connected, I try to keep our one-on-one times simple, frequent, and natural.
- Share the load. My kids take responsibility for certain chores, but sometimes I’ll withhold my order-barking and jump in to help. Walking the dog together turns a chore into an outing. Folding clothes or washing dishes allows for easy conversation. It builds camaraderie with appreciation.
- Play together. Hold a jam session on Rock Band. Challenge them at their favorite video game. Play Pictionary or Settlers of Catan as a family. Watch a special movie or TV show. It doesn’t matter what you do, just find something you can enjoy together.
- Understand their world. Find out what’s so attractive about the popular techno stuff. Be sure to get a Facebook account (and find your own friends). Use text messaging to your advantage–it can be a beautiful thing for parents. It makes for easy drop off and pick up, a quick way to touch base, and an embarassment-free forum to say “I love you” (or 459 or 831, according to this lingo list) once in awhile.
- Solicit their advice. Nothing builds confidence and trust more than letting your kid be the expert. Ask your son or daughter to help you set up your phone, website or home decor. Talk through a minor challenge ask for their insights. If it’s a problem concerning this child’s behavior, ask, “if you were the parent, what would you do?” Then listen, and try not to judge.
- Connect with other adults. Get to know the parents of your kids’ friends, and encourage relationships with trustworthy adults. I learn interesting details that my kids wouldn’t share from adults who spend time with them at church, school or other activities.
- Hand the phone to Grandma. When my children talk to my own mother once a week or so, I learn what they’re doing in school and what’s considered “news” to them– things they’re somehow reluctant to share with me.
- Wonder with them. When I begin a conversation with, “I wonder. . .” my kids fill in the blanks with more useful information. Instead of the typical “How was your day?” question, ask “I wonder who you talk to at lunch?” or “I wonder how math is going?” and you’ll get a better answer.
- Just be there. I know I’ll connect more with my family if I’m present. I don’t intend to follow my kids around; I just need to be mentally present and engaged when we’re together. Show support. Pay attention, but stay back a distance. Be a fly on the wall, observe, and be ready.
So when the time comes for those deep conversations, you’ll have a comfortable connection. Carpe diem–seize the day!
Now for the fun part:
The nice folks at Sprint have offered a $200 Visa gift card for the winner of this super easy contest!
To enter, answer the following question in a comment (or on your own blog, with a link in the comments) below:
What are your best tips for keeping your family connected in the New Year?
The contest will begin on 1/13/2010 and will end 2/09/2010. Make sure you leave a correct e-mail address with your comment.
Rules:
- No duplicate comments.
- You may receive an additional entry by linking on twitter and leaving a link in the comments.
- You may receive an additional entry by blogging about this contest and leaving a link in the comments.
- This giveaway is open to US-residents, aged 18 and older
- Winners will be selected via random draw, and will notified by e-mail.
- You have 48 hours to get back to me, otherwise a new winner will be selected.
Please see the official rules here: Official rules
You have 9 chances to win $200 at the BlogHer.com special offers page
Here’s wishing you many moments of connection with your family in 2010. For more parenting ideas and other good stuff, visit BeyondJustMom and the Family Connections Group at BlogHer.
Best of luck!
We make certain that we eat a meal together. This is at the dining table, with place settings, courses, and no tv.
I like to use Skype to call them from my computer- that way i can use my webcamera and we can talk forever without worrying of any fees
On the weekends we go out to the local restaurant chain/diner for breakfast and catch up
it’s nice
mjharvey26 at yahoo dot com
Joy
we plan family vacations together
justacakebaker@gmail.com
we text each other at least once a day to stay connected.
For Christmas 09, I bought my mom (who lives in another state) a netbook, to encourage her to use email. We now email each other several times a week, in between our phone chats.
Very good post. I’ve found your blog via Google and I’m really happy about the information you provide in your articles. Btw your blogs layout is really broken on the Kmelon browser. Would be cool if you could fix that. Anyhow keep up the great work!
Definitely write and call for overseas family members. Email, Skype, Flicr…etc. every technology you can think of, I use them. For family nearby, we’d visit and get together during holidays.
tweet.http://twitter.com/tcarolinep/status/8694185411
Blogged.http://tcarolinep.blogspot.com/2010/02/giveaway-beyond-just-mom.html
Keeping our family, close and extended, connected in the new year turned out to be the simplest thing ever. We are getting our daughter her own cell for her Birthday later this month, upgrading to an unlimited texting plan, and we will be texting til our fingers cramp in the new year. Grandparents, our children, each other – we will be SO connected now.
Choose a hobby that you can all enjoy! I show and breed dogs, and that really keeps us together. The boys are involved with caring for the dogs, socializing pups and Junior Handling. It began as my hobby, but it spread through the family like wildfire. It has really brought us all closer!
spitfyr323 at hotmail dot com
Tweeted:
http://twitter.com/spitfyr323/status/8721328359
my best tip is to cook/bake together!
i tweeted http://twitter.com/redfuzzycow/status/8723273978
i blogged http://redfuzzycow.blogspot.com/2010/02/blog-giveaways-post-6.html
I have family all over so I keep intouch through my blog, email, and other forms of social media. At home we try to spend quality time together.
tweeted http://twitter.com/carogonza/status/8728775073
blogged about giveaway http://theartofrandomwillynillyness.blogspot.com/2010/02/sprint-and-blogher-ends-29.html
Making dinner together at a family is a great way to make dinner more fun and a true family activity. each person can have a job in the kitchen until the meal is done. Then enjoy!
I tweeted:
http://twitter.com/lipstickncandy/status/8729800044
It is very important for us to eat breakfast and dinner together every day! We Skype and talk on the phone with distant relatives!
I tweeted. http://twitter.com/JCausby/status/8729830108
Do dinner together every night. Less tv and less video games.
I tweeted http://twitter.com/skipthelaundry/status/8750354539
skipthelaundry
One tip I have to keep family connected is to take about 1/2 hour each and every night to touch bases and see how everyone is doing…if they need to talk, etc. Of course more time is good too, but to insist on this really does help.
mandjregan at gmail dot com
I tweeted:
http://twitter.com/EightyMPHMom/status/8776546458
Dinner at the table for 30 minutes every night, no TV, just talk. Snow days they take turns picking board games.
main entry: I see my daughter ,son-in-law, and grandson each day twice when they bring my grandson here as they go work and I take him to & from school so he is not with strangers & is taken care of and they get to my husband his papaw each evening as they all get home at the same time for pickup and we text & email eachother each day if we need or want to as well since they all work 35 miles from home.Thank goodness for modern technology items we did not have years ago, thanks
sewitupjulie at gmail dot com
my twitter tweered link to your sprint giveaway thank you
http://twitter.com/itsallnew2me/status/8778456834
sewitupjulie at gmail dot com
We try our best to sit down at the table and eat together and talk about our day! For my brother and MIL who live in different states, we love SKYPE to see and hear them! It especially is fun for my son!
Tweet:
http://twitter.com/SCMOMOF2BOYS/status/8776576384
We use Skype video chat when we are away from each other and have as many meals together as possible!
Tweet: http://twitter.com/princessla66/status/8788720170
I make sure that my family puts away all electronic distractions (phones, video games, etc) when we sit down to dinner so we can have a real conversation, face to face.
eating dinner together every night that we can.
Last year my brothers, sisters and I decided that we live too close to each other to just get together on holidays. We want our children to be close to each other and we’ve come to realize the importance of family time together. Phone, Facebook and texting just isn’t enough.
We’ve started a “family night” once a month, taking turns at each other’s houses. Last month, we all went to my brother’s for New Year’s Day. Everyone brought a side dish to share and we all sat around in our sweat pants and watched football and celebrated the start of a new year together.
This month, we’re planning a Valentine’s day party for just our family. We’re going to watch some sappy movies and we’re even planning on passing out valentine’s cards like you had in elementary school…each of us has to write two things about the other person that we like or admire. It’s a great way to share how we feel about each other and everybody loves to read what someone else thinks about them. Even my oldest son loves “family night” and demands to know in advance what night we’re having it so he can request off from his part-time job
Blogged:
http://auntiethesis.blogspot.com/2010/02/keeping-that-family-connection-sprint.html
Tweeted:
http://twitter.com/auntiethesis/status/8801611638
always make a night each week to spend time in the same room doing something.
This year we are making a concerted effort to watch TV a lot less and actually talk to each other!
I tweeted this giveaway here: http://twitter.com/FotoMacro/status/8809500125
One thing we are doing differently this year is to have more meals at home and have them at the dining table instead of at the computer and TV and that way we are not so distracted and can actually catch up with each other every night.
tweeted http://twitter.com/RePurrPussed/status/8809647324
I blogged about the giveaway here:
http://jewelknits.blogspot.com/2010/02/february-1-2010-monday-giveaway-roundup.html
Family dinner is a big way for us to stay connected, and we eat together almost every night and talk about our days.
I blogged
http://lunaj1456.blogspot.com/2010/02/keep-your-family-connect-and-win.html
Family dinners & movies that appeal to both a teenager & preschhooler help keep us connected. And finding things to laugh about together!
tweet
http://twitter.com/pixie13sweeps/status/8818600080
blogged
http://pixie13-justconteststuff.blogspot.com/2010/01/200-visa-gc-from-blogher-sprint.html