10 connecting tips for parents–with a $200 giveaway!
This is a compensated review from BlogHer and Sprint
With a growing teen, tween and wanna-be tween, how do we stay connected as a family? It isn’t easy for anyone. For me, adolescent parenting has brought its share of serendipitous pleasures, with perhaps fewer, but deeper connections. Today I share what’s worked for me, what I’d like to do, or ideas that I hope will inspire you to find your own family connections. For more reflections on faith, family and the flux of life, please check out BeyondJustMom. (To enter the giveaway, scroll down to the instructions at the bottom of the page).
- Carpe diem: seize the day! (or at least the five minutes you’ve got). I need to pay attention to those fleeting moments when my kids are interested in talking. I used to put my three little ones to bed and then float downstairs for a blissful moment of alone time. More recently, as soon as I settle, my son appears and needs to hang out for awhile. Sometimes I just want to shoo him off to bed, but really, it’s a perfect time to hear what’s on his mind. So we chill out for awhile, and I do my best to listen. And then I send him off to bed.
- Make a date. I admire a friend who schedules a date with one child every week. I go for smaller “dates”: a walk around the block during a sister’s piano lesson, a ride to the store, or a snack after school. To stay connected, I try to keep our one-on-one times simple, frequent, and natural.
- Share the load. My kids take responsibility for certain chores, but sometimes I’ll withhold my order-barking and jump in to help. Walking the dog together turns a chore into an outing. Folding clothes or washing dishes allows for easy conversation. It builds camaraderie with appreciation.
- Play together. Hold a jam session on Rock Band. Challenge them at their favorite video game. Play Pictionary or Settlers of Catan as a family. Watch a special movie or TV show. It doesn’t matter what you do, just find something you can enjoy together.
- Understand their world. Find out what’s so attractive about the popular techno stuff. Be sure to get a Facebook account (and find your own friends). Use text messaging to your advantage–it can be a beautiful thing for parents. It makes for easy drop off and pick up, a quick way to touch base, and an embarassment-free forum to say “I love you” (or 459 or 831, according to this lingo list) once in awhile.
- Solicit their advice. Nothing builds confidence and trust more than letting your kid be the expert. Ask your son or daughter to help you set up your phone, website or home decor. Talk through a minor challenge ask for their insights. If it’s a problem concerning this child’s behavior, ask, “if you were the parent, what would you do?” Then listen, and try not to judge.
- Connect with other adults. Get to know the parents of your kids’ friends, and encourage relationships with trustworthy adults. I learn interesting details that my kids wouldn’t share from adults who spend time with them at church, school or other activities.
- Hand the phone to Grandma. When my children talk to my own mother once a week or so, I learn what they’re doing in school and what’s considered “news” to them– things they’re somehow reluctant to share with me.
- Wonder with them. When I begin a conversation with, “I wonder. . .” my kids fill in the blanks with more useful information. Instead of the typical “How was your day?” question, ask “I wonder who you talk to at lunch?” or “I wonder how math is going?” and you’ll get a better answer.
- Just be there. I know I’ll connect more with my family if I’m present. I don’t intend to follow my kids around; I just need to be mentally present and engaged when we’re together. Show support. Pay attention, but stay back a distance. Be a fly on the wall, observe, and be ready.
So when the time comes for those deep conversations, you’ll have a comfortable connection. Carpe diem–seize the day!
Now for the fun part:
The nice folks at Sprint have offered a $200 Visa gift card for the winner of this super easy contest!
To enter, answer the following question in a comment (or on your own blog, with a link in the comments) below:
What are your best tips for keeping your family connected in the New Year?
The contest will begin on 1/13/2010 and will end 2/09/2010. Make sure you leave a correct e-mail address with your comment.
Rules:
- No duplicate comments.
- You may receive an additional entry by linking on twitter and leaving a link in the comments.
- You may receive an additional entry by blogging about this contest and leaving a link in the comments.
- This giveaway is open to US-residents, aged 18 and older
- Winners will be selected via random draw, and will notified by e-mail.
- You have 48 hours to get back to me, otherwise a new winner will be selected.
Please see the official rules here: Official rules
You have 9 chances to win $200 at the BlogHer.com special offers page
Here’s wishing you many moments of connection with your family in 2010. For more parenting ideas and other good stuff, visit BeyondJustMom and the Family Connections Group at BlogHer.
Best of luck!
I have a personal blog that helps me stay up to date with relatives and old friends!
My son and I love to send texts or videos to hubby while he’s at work. It makes the day funny for all of us! We also love to talk about our days at supper or during long walks together.
joyful[dot]too[at]gmail[dot]com
Its important to me to stay in touch with extended family as well so we try to get together once every few months to celebrate birthdays and just enjoy each other’s company.
Stop what I’m doing and really listen to what they have to say.
Sending letters monthly is the way I prefer to keep in touch. There’s nothing like receiving a heartfelt penned greeting.
I text with my college kids. That is the best way I have found to stay in touch with them. The two that are still at home enjoy nightly dinners with their dad and me.
tweeted http://twitter.com/annedoggett/status/8011832521
Very best tip for keeping my family connected in the new year…SKYPE!! Set up a time each week to video chat with all the family is fun and the best thing to do, next to being physically in the same place, which can be hard. I love video chating with my family. Also, keeping instant messenger open all day, so family can leave messages as well as chat through out the day when we are lucky enough to be around at the same time.
tweeted!
http://twitter.com/EpicTegan/status/8015371591
On the weekends, we like to go for family bike rides or hikes. We haven’t done as much of that this winter, but I vow that we will get back into it. Not only do we get to spend time together, but it’s also a great way to stay in shape and burn off some energy for the kids.
cookincanuck@hotmail.com
use a family connection website like myfamily.com, emails, calls.
pokraj (at) yahoo (dot) come
We try to unplug from electronics (tv, computer, video games) two nights a week. We have game night and pizza night without any interuptions. It’s nice to just enjoy each others company.
My blog and flickr helps my family stay up-to-date with our family and son. Saves money on phone calls too!
samanthajocampen at gmail
We stay connected by trying to have family meals together as often as possible. It isn’t every night, but pretty close to that.
we enjoy playing games together
With my immediate family, we try to guard our weekends so we have as much time together as possible. Sure we have to run an errand or two, but we don’t fill up our weekends with lots to do. To keep up with extended family, we keep in touch through facebook, a family blog and sending photos online.
All of my family live across the country. In keep in touch with them with weekly phone calls and Facebook. Facebook is great for getting daily updates.
weekly dinners as a family – crazy as it sounds I don’t know a lot of people who do this frequently and a lot of good connections and conversations spring from family meals
http://twitter.com/DeeGee13/status/8103408718
tweeted!
http://the-prestigiator.xanga.com/720583769/sprint-and-blogher-giveaway/
blogged
Family dinners and a date night for mom and dad!
My family knows the importance of keeping in touch. We make a point to reach out at least once a week, if not more often. Sometimes there is no news, or nothing much to say, but just hearing that person’s voice lets you know they are safe and sound. With the kids, texting is the way to go. I’ve found that my children reach out to me more in texts than they ever do by actually talking.
tweeted http://twitter.com/tnshadylady/status/8116033316
blog link here
http://tnshadylady.blogspot.com/2010/01/staying-connected-with-so-many-tools.html
My son and I take advantage of the trips in the car while I am taking him to basketball, soccer, swimming, scouts etc. to talk about everything that has happened in our day.
live, love and laughter daily with your family.
Have dinner together every night (or as often as possible). Regular date nights with spouse. Take advantage of technology – use skype, facebook, email, etc. to keep in touch with family who do not live with you.
WE get together every Sunday for Movie night, game night or Sports . We plan family vacation together and chat on Facebook.
http://twitter.com/Nightowlmama/status/8222383914
For the first time since college, I once again live in my hometown — where I was born and raised. Theoretically, this makes it much easier to stay connected with family. However – as we all know – life can get in the way. In 2010, I have resolved to do a better job at staying connected with all of my family. I will make more time to visit with my loved ones…no excuses! Additionally, we plan on hosting a big family dinner at least once a month.
Thanks!
Tweet:
http://twitter.com/Nelsby/status/8240557366
Thanks!
* PLEASE IGNORE PREVIOUS POST…I posted the WRONG Twitter link *
Tweet:
http://twitter.com/Nelsby/status/8240387207
Thanks!
After being cooped up inside all winter, we plan on taking nightly family walks once spring gets here. Instead of plopping in front of the tv, we can get out and enjoy conversations with each other!
There is one thing that I have started recently that has brought me closer to my kids and it’s so simple..reading to them even though they’re older. I used to read to my kids all the time when they were little but homework, me working nights and crazy schedules sort of phased it out. But recently. I’ve started reading a chapter a night of the Percy Jackson series to my two youngest (8 and 11) every night. My oldest who’s 12 has already read them and loved them but even he listens in sometimes (perhaps to extend his bedtime!) And I am so surprised at how much they enjoy it and how much I missed those quiet times with them, laying all snug the bed looking up at me with far away eyes as they imagine the words I’m reading. I know alot of parents read to their little ones but everyone should try my simple example…it truly does make us closer
tweeted: http://twitter.com/happyenchilada2/status/8250655521
Facebook has been a godsend, especially for keeping up with the young adults!
My sister and I tend to have trouble catching up, so we’ve been making an effort to facebook chat once a week to catch up and keep informed on each others lives and families.
I have 5 grandchildren that live in the same town and 4 that do not. It is easy to keep up with the ones in town. For the ones out of town, I created Grandma Treat Letters. One a month I send a letter with clip art of things that they are interested in (soccer, guitar, gymnastics, Thomas the train, etc) or holiday themes), usually a question for them (What is your favorite class this year, how do you like your new soccer team, What are you doing at preschool, etc), and three one dollar bills “Grandma Treat Money”. Each child has their own colored envelope so they look for “their” letter at the beginning of each month. I talked with the oldest granddaughter who is in her second year of high school because I thought she might think this was too young for her and it was OK if she didn’t want these but she said she liked getting them and wanted me to continue. It isn’t a lot but it lets them know each month that I am thinking of them.
tweet here
http://twitter.com/Grandma3710/status/8362513015
blogged here
http://betty-n.blogspot.com/
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I think Facebook has been the biggest influence in keeping us in touch now days. JeansandTs@hotmail.com
make time for eachother- plan family nights- movies, games, making pizza
I’m lucky because my two oldest daughters still live in the same city with me. We stay in touch by visits and almost daily phone calls. With two children still in the nest, and 4 grandchildren, I try to spend some quality “Gigi” time with the little ones every week by having a “craft day” or a “family game night” or a “family movie night”. It makes it a festive occasion, especially on movie night when everyone can actually EAT (popcorn) in Gigi’s living room!
My husband and I have family night every Monday. Games, talking, eating, fun
facebook and blogging are great ways to keep up with what’s in my family’s lives.
You can’t underestimate the power of a loving hug!
Both of my boys are grown and away from home. We stay connected by IM. It’s the fastest, easiest way to contact them.
We try to sit down and have dinner together just about every night. It’s a time for us to talk and catch up on what’s going on with everyone. thanks!
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