10 connecting tips for parents–with a $200 giveaway!
This is a compensated review from BlogHer and Sprint
With a growing teen, tween and wanna-be tween, how do we stay connected as a family? It isn’t easy for anyone. For me, adolescent parenting has brought its share of serendipitous pleasures, with perhaps fewer, but deeper connections. Today I share what’s worked for me, what I’d like to do, or ideas that I hope will inspire you to find your own family connections. For more reflections on faith, family and the flux of life, please check out BeyondJustMom. (To enter the giveaway, scroll down to the instructions at the bottom of the page).
- Carpe diem: seize the day! (or at least the five minutes you’ve got). I need to pay attention to those fleeting moments when my kids are interested in talking. I used to put my three little ones to bed and then float downstairs for a blissful moment of alone time. More recently, as soon as I settle, my son appears and needs to hang out for awhile. Sometimes I just want to shoo him off to bed, but really, it’s a perfect time to hear what’s on his mind. So we chill out for awhile, and I do my best to listen. And then I send him off to bed.
- Make a date. I admire a friend who schedules a date with one child every week. I go for smaller “dates”: a walk around the block during a sister’s piano lesson, a ride to the store, or a snack after school. To stay connected, I try to keep our one-on-one times simple, frequent, and natural.
- Share the load. My kids take responsibility for certain chores, but sometimes I’ll withhold my order-barking and jump in to help. Walking the dog together turns a chore into an outing. Folding clothes or washing dishes allows for easy conversation. It builds camaraderie with appreciation.
- Play together. Hold a jam session on Rock Band. Challenge them at their favorite video game. Play Pictionary or Settlers of Catan as a family. Watch a special movie or TV show. It doesn’t matter what you do, just find something you can enjoy together.
- Understand their world. Find out what’s so attractive about the popular techno stuff. Be sure to get a Facebook account (and find your own friends). Use text messaging to your advantage–it can be a beautiful thing for parents. It makes for easy drop off and pick up, a quick way to touch base, and an embarassment-free forum to say “I love you” (or 459 or 831, according to this lingo list) once in awhile.
- Solicit their advice. Nothing builds confidence and trust more than letting your kid be the expert. Ask your son or daughter to help you set up your phone, website or home decor. Talk through a minor challenge ask for their insights. If it’s a problem concerning this child’s behavior, ask, “if you were the parent, what would you do?” Then listen, and try not to judge.
- Connect with other adults. Get to know the parents of your kids’ friends, and encourage relationships with trustworthy adults. I learn interesting details that my kids wouldn’t share from adults who spend time with them at church, school or other activities.
- Hand the phone to Grandma. When my children talk to my own mother once a week or so, I learn what they’re doing in school and what’s considered “news” to them– things they’re somehow reluctant to share with me.
- Wonder with them. When I begin a conversation with, “I wonder. . .” my kids fill in the blanks with more useful information. Instead of the typical “How was your day?” question, ask “I wonder who you talk to at lunch?” or “I wonder how math is going?” and you’ll get a better answer.
- Just be there. I know I’ll connect more with my family if I’m present. I don’t intend to follow my kids around; I just need to be mentally present and engaged when we’re together. Show support. Pay attention, but stay back a distance. Be a fly on the wall, observe, and be ready.
So when the time comes for those deep conversations, you’ll have a comfortable connection. Carpe diem–seize the day!
Now for the fun part:
The nice folks at Sprint have offered a $200 Visa gift card for the winner of this super easy contest!
To enter, answer the following question in a comment (or on your own blog, with a link in the comments) below:
What are your best tips for keeping your family connected in the New Year?
The contest will begin on 1/13/2010 and will end 2/09/2010. Make sure you leave a correct e-mail address with your comment.
Rules:
- No duplicate comments.
- You may receive an additional entry by linking on twitter and leaving a link in the comments.
- You may receive an additional entry by blogging about this contest and leaving a link in the comments.
- This giveaway is open to US-residents, aged 18 and older
- Winners will be selected via random draw, and will notified by e-mail.
- You have 48 hours to get back to me, otherwise a new winner will be selected.
Please see the official rules here: Official rules
You have 9 chances to win $200 at the BlogHer.com special offers page
Here’s wishing you many moments of connection with your family in 2010. For more parenting ideas and other good stuff, visit BeyondJustMom and the Family Connections Group at BlogHer.
Best of luck!
[...] 10 connecting tips for parents–with a $200 giveaway! [...]
Try your best to eat dinner together every night. This allows time to discuss the day!
Dinner together every night as a family, and my husband and I do a date night often.
[...] Pam of Beyond Just Mom makes a date with one child every week in order to stay in touch with all of her children—see what other fun tips she has that you can incorporate! [...]
[...] Beyond Just Mom [...]
Family movie night is a fun way for us to stay connected.
I blogged about this:
http://grandgiveaways.wordpress.com/2010/01/14/sprint/
Tweet:
http://twitter.com/mami2jcn/status/7748814991
I’m a techie, so my tips revolve around using technology to stay connected with family. We don’t live real close to our family and we often feel out of the loop on important news in the family. I’ve found the following tools to be a great help in staying connected: Myfamily.com (forum based), Facebook (quick status updates), Skype (voice and video), and Email (quick way to send messages).
mattschmunk at hotmail dot com
I agree on #4. We had so much fun playing games over the holidays that we are having a family (and invited friends sometimes) game night on Wednesdays. Last night, Monopoly. I totally lost, with only the light blues and one “Get Out of Jail Free” card as my lucky breaks.
Tons of fun.
I plan to start a game/movie night once a month, and family dinners are a DEFINITE!!!
mjf926 at gmail dot com
I think game nights are a great way to keep everyone together. You’d be surprised how easy it can be to have conversations when the focus isn’t just on “Let’s Talk.” I highly recommend it!
thisris at gmail dot com
One way we stay connected as a family is our weekly family movie night. We all prepare a feast and load up on goodies and then we snuggle down on the couches together to watch a new movie. I love the feeling of having all my family together where I can see them and know they are safe. I savor those moments.
Tweet
http://twitter.com/HeartnSoulmom/status/7774785454
I think to stay connected it is key to be involved. Go to sporting events, go to school plays, drive the carpool, etc.
I have just discovered Skype and it is a great way to stay in touch with extended family.
To keep the family connected, pick atleast one night a week to do something fun as a family – go to a movie (or rent one), have a family game night, etc. And make sure to spend time together talking everyday.
oldnavyash@aol.com
Tweeted! http://twitter.com/smash906/status/7800618956
since my family lives a long way from me I like to use Skype to call them from my computer- that way i can use my webcamera and we can talk forever without worrying of any fees
we have been bicycling together a few times a week. its keeping us active, and we are doing it TOGETHER !
ginaceruti@ gmail.com
tweeeet!
http://twitter.com/ginaceruti/status/7803748154
ginaceruti @ gmail. com
Have everyone join Facebook.
Regular dinners together and family plan on the cellphone
Mine are grown and spread from NJ to CA and I am so thankful for email. We communicate daily and they are all busy professionals and so I send them tid bits that I find surfing the net that I think they might find interesting or cheering. I once got the feeling that maybe they would rather mt not send so much so I asked them with the promise that there would be no hard feelings if they would rather I didn’t and to a man (actually 2 boys and 2 girls) they all said that they enjoyed my tid bits and that sometimes one of them would break up a terrible day with a smile or a bit of wisdom.
We connect through skype and online photo albums, online video blogs, as you can see we love doing everything online.
We eat at the dinner table an not in front of the TV,we limit internet access an cell phone an text usage in the house,they have to turn that all off during dinner an homework time an we spend time together as a family!
vlbelk(at)hotmail.com
I tweeted
http://twitter.com/vickiecouturier/status/7840769379
vlbelk(at)Hotmail.com
blogged
http://vickiecouturier.blogspot.com/2010/01/10-connecting-tips-for-parentswith-200.html
vlbelk(at)hotmail.com
I’m teaching my daughter to cook so we can cook dinner together and talk about her day.
I keep my family connected by always setting aside time every day that we all spend together. Lately, it has been dinnertime. I make sure we all eat together at the table as a family and talk about our days and what has been going on in our lives.
courteneycourteney@yahoo.com
We always use cell phones. That way no matter where we are we can talk.
Game night is good, but see if you have (or can develop) shared interests. Go fishing, or make a dress. Watch the game, or a cheesy musical. If your family has been in the same area for a long time take a ride (gas prices permitting) and share stories. Have them help you put together a photo album. Go thru their yearbook and your yearbook from the same year in school together (just going thru theirs may seem a bit nosy.)
Having said all that, 10 is the most important.
We stay connected to each other as a family by spending time together. We try to have dinner together every night and we also enjoy other activities as a family. We like to go on walks with our kids and dogs, we enjoy listening to music as a family, we like to watch movies and play games.
Our family tries to get together once or twice a month for a huge family dinner.
dmkayes@gmail.com
1) Eat meals together
2) Game night/movie night
3) Read before bed
4) Vacation
5) Go to Church & pray together
mdmerenghi@gmail.com
A family that “prays together stays together.”
Turn off the TV. Sit down at the table together for meals and no tv, cell phones or other distractions allowed. Talk to each other for entertainment.
I keep in touch using facebook. We share photos and talk.
I think it is all about spending time. One night a week, the family needs to spend time to together with no distractions. It doesn’t have to be expensive. It could be game night at home one week or bowling the next. Or take turns letting one member of the family pick the activity. I think family trips are great. Again, it doesn’t have to be expensive. Maybe a day trip to the lake with homemade lunch in the summer.
I tweeted http://twitter.com/romapr09/status/7891744695
We connect much more frequently through email, and also through skype for our long-distance family members.
lavendarlittle at gmail dot com.
we sold our TV, which really encourages family-togetherness
artisticbaker at gmail dot com
blogged!
http://artisticbaker.blogspot.com/2010/01/win-200-visa-card.html
tweeted
http://twitter.com/artisticbaker/statuses/7909729912
Tweeted http://twitter.com/LisaSVance/status/7918001351
A family that eats together, stays happy together.
I think it is a good idea to try and always eat at least 1 meal a day together to connect and talk about each others day.
sarahjd766 at yahoo dot com
Tweeted:
http://twitter.com/miss_moneymaker/status/7920573303
sarahjd766 at yahoo dot com
Text messaging can be a huge connector of family. Even when we don’t have time to talk, we got time to drop a “hey’ya” to family.
I stay connected with my sister who lives in another state through Facebook. We can just jot down our thoughts to share with each other immediately and there’s no pressure to answer right away. We chat back and forth all day long, but in little bits. Of course, when we really want to chat, we pick up the phone!
we have a family website that we use all the time to keep everyone in the loop with pictures and news. But our favorite way to stay close is to go on trips. Although it takes a lot of work with our 2 yr old quadruplets, it’s worth it so they can get to know their grandparents, great grandparents and great great grandma better everytime!