10 connecting tips for parents–with a $200 giveaway!
This is a compensated review from BlogHer and Sprint
With a growing teen, tween and wanna-be tween, how do we stay connected as a family? It isn’t easy for anyone. For me, adolescent parenting has brought its share of serendipitous pleasures, with perhaps fewer, but deeper connections. Today I share what’s worked for me, what I’d like to do, or ideas that I hope will inspire you to find your own family connections. For more reflections on faith, family and the flux of life, please check out BeyondJustMom. (To enter the giveaway, scroll down to the instructions at the bottom of the page).
- Carpe diem: seize the day! (or at least the five minutes you’ve got). I need to pay attention to those fleeting moments when my kids are interested in talking. I used to put my three little ones to bed and then float downstairs for a blissful moment of alone time. More recently, as soon as I settle, my son appears and needs to hang out for awhile. Sometimes I just want to shoo him off to bed, but really, it’s a perfect time to hear what’s on his mind. So we chill out for awhile, and I do my best to listen. And then I send him off to bed.
- Make a date. I admire a friend who schedules a date with one child every week. I go for smaller “dates”: a walk around the block during a sister’s piano lesson, a ride to the store, or a snack after school. To stay connected, I try to keep our one-on-one times simple, frequent, and natural.
- Share the load. My kids take responsibility for certain chores, but sometimes I’ll withhold my order-barking and jump in to help. Walking the dog together turns a chore into an outing. Folding clothes or washing dishes allows for easy conversation. It builds camaraderie with appreciation.
- Play together. Hold a jam session on Rock Band. Challenge them at their favorite video game. Play Pictionary or Settlers of Catan as a family. Watch a special movie or TV show. It doesn’t matter what you do, just find something you can enjoy together.
- Understand their world. Find out what’s so attractive about the popular techno stuff. Be sure to get a Facebook account (and find your own friends). Use text messaging to your advantage–it can be a beautiful thing for parents. It makes for easy drop off and pick up, a quick way to touch base, and an embarassment-free forum to say “I love you” (or 459 or 831, according to this lingo list) once in awhile.
- Solicit their advice. Nothing builds confidence and trust more than letting your kid be the expert. Ask your son or daughter to help you set up your phone, website or home decor. Talk through a minor challenge ask for their insights. If it’s a problem concerning this child’s behavior, ask, “if you were the parent, what would you do?” Then listen, and try not to judge.
- Connect with other adults. Get to know the parents of your kids’ friends, and encourage relationships with trustworthy adults. I learn interesting details that my kids wouldn’t share from adults who spend time with them at church, school or other activities.
- Hand the phone to Grandma. When my children talk to my own mother once a week or so, I learn what they’re doing in school and what’s considered “news” to them– things they’re somehow reluctant to share with me.
- Wonder with them. When I begin a conversation with, “I wonder. . .” my kids fill in the blanks with more useful information. Instead of the typical “How was your day?” question, ask “I wonder who you talk to at lunch?” or “I wonder how math is going?” and you’ll get a better answer.
- Just be there. I know I’ll connect more with my family if I’m present. I don’t intend to follow my kids around; I just need to be mentally present and engaged when we’re together. Show support. Pay attention, but stay back a distance. Be a fly on the wall, observe, and be ready.
So when the time comes for those deep conversations, you’ll have a comfortable connection. Carpe diem–seize the day!
Now for the fun part:
The nice folks at Sprint have offered a $200 Visa gift card for the winner of this super easy contest!
To enter, answer the following question in a comment (or on your own blog, with a link in the comments) below:
What are your best tips for keeping your family connected in the New Year?
The contest will begin on 1/13/2010 and will end 2/09/2010. Make sure you leave a correct e-mail address with your comment.
Rules:
- No duplicate comments.
- You may receive an additional entry by linking on twitter and leaving a link in the comments.
- You may receive an additional entry by blogging about this contest and leaving a link in the comments.
- This giveaway is open to US-residents, aged 18 and older
- Winners will be selected via random draw, and will notified by e-mail.
- You have 48 hours to get back to me, otherwise a new winner will be selected.
Please see the official rules here: Official rules
You have 9 chances to win $200 at the BlogHer.com special offers page
Here’s wishing you many moments of connection with your family in 2010. For more parenting ideas and other good stuff, visit BeyondJustMom and the Family Connections Group at BlogHer.
Best of luck!
My family has discovered video chat via oovoo (which allows for multiple video screens at once) or skype. Since we are spread across the country from Hawaii to NYC and in between it helps us keep up with the rapidly growing little ones.
We eat breakfast and dinner together everyday. We ski together, bike together. Family game night every Monday night. Just a few…
Thanks for the giveaway.
s.mickelson at gmail dot com
My best tip to stay connected is to spend quality time with each child individually. Find out what interests them and spend time doing that activity. To stay connected to your spouse it is definately important to have a nice weekend getaway w/o kids or at least a date night w/o the kids.
Now that my kids are older it is even harder to keep connected. I have found that Sunday morning breakfasts are a great time to connect. We all pitch in to make a big breakfast and then sit and talk about our week.
Facebook has been a godsend. It keeps me connected with family everyday when I usually would not talk to them that often. It is a nice way to keep track of what everyone is up to.
I am trying to get all of my family on facebook mobile and texting!
Our kids are grown, and 1 lives out of state, so cell phone calls, texting, emails, and facebook helps us stay in touch on a daily basis. We’re all busy, but we keep up-to-date with each other’s lives, so we feel like we’re never far from each other.
Tweeted:
https://twitter.com/amylou61/status/8839438124
My kids are 6, 3 and 6 months so I stay connected with them by getting down on the floor and playing with them. We always have a blast!
I tweeted: http://twitter.com/ag1414/status/8840832160
Blogged:
http://fibrofoggy.blogspot.com/2010/02/9-chances-to-win-200-from-blogher.html
My son is grown and the family is scattered. I have a personal blog and a personal Facebook account. We keep in touch using those and the phone.
blogged http://vickieb52.blogspot.com/2010/02/win-visa-gift-card.html
tweet http://twitter.com/vlbsweeps/status/8842912355
[...] and Blogher have teamed up to give you the opportunity to win a $200 visa card. Multi-Minding Mom Beyond Just Mom Hotfessional Doobleh-vay Eat Real ChildWild Tales From The Trenches of Parenting Fabulous at 50 [...]
keep connected through emails, social networks, text messaging and phone calls.
shopgurl101 AT gmail DOT com
blogged http://sweetqt.wordpress.com/2010/02/09/sprint-and-blogher-ends-29
shopgurl101 AT gmail DOT com
tweeted: http://twitter.com/shopgurl/status/8845480341
shopgurl101 AT gmail DOT com
Have dinner together as a family at least 3 times a week. One of those nights, the children can invite a guest. You can talk and get to know your children and their friends.
We try and keep connected through phone calls and emails. Hate to say it, but email seems so much easier with everyone’s busy schedules and the different time zones we live in.
I think nightly famiy dinners are the best way to keep the family connected!
We keep in touch with Facebook
All of my immediate family is still in the same household so we often have family outings or dinner together. The most effective way of staying in touch when we are apart is via cell phone. When I go out on trips my mother expects a daily phone call!
I am going to make it a goal to use webcam a lot more with my parents, sisters, and friends. I’m also going to make more of an effort to IM them and talk on the cell phone.
themommyfiles (at) gmail (dot) com
We eat dinner together evernight at the kitchen table and discuss the events of the day
We can’t always have dinner together but my family eats at least one meal together a day. Sometimes my husband works late so we have breakfast together before he has to go. Its a great way to stay connected.
I tweeted
http://twitter.com/lunaj1456/status/8872217988
I have lived out of state from my mom,sis and immediate family. We stay connected with visits to each other at least 3 times a year, through phone calls (almost daily) and cards.
We are trying to go one a weekend walk/hike every week this year. With no real distractions it makes great family time and it is free!
I tweeted thanks for the chance to win http://twitter.com/eaglesforjack/status/8874319647
Thanks so much to all of you for your wonderful ideas, blogs and tweets! The contest has reached its conclusion and I’ll be announcing the winner soon. Please come back and share your point of view any time.
Pam
We try to eat dinner together each night, and not rush through it. We use conversation starters–questions to engage each other. And my hubby is really good at coming up with his own questions, too.
Congratulations to maji2jcn for winning the $200 Visa gift card! She was commenter #5 generated from http://www.random.org. Thanks so much for all of you for participating, and I look forward to connecting with you again soon.
Pam
we stay connected via texting and facebook